A Loss of Something Ever Felt

Üht kaotust igavesti kandsin
documentary / 82’ / color

A tangled odyssey takes young Estonian Eeva to the slums of Bogota, Colombia, where the girl searches for her missing, estranged brother. At the same time, she is worried about the condition in which she will find him.

It is said that seven people are lost every day in Bogota, a city of twelve million. It seems that Lauri is one of them – an uprooted drug addict from Estonia, who has only a remote connection with his mother. Now she is afraid for her son, because he has not called her for almost half a year. So Lauri's sister Eeva volunteers to travel to Bogota to find her missing brother, even though they have a very complicated relationship. In the middle of a foreign metropolis with countless dubious corners and miserable street dwellers, an uncertain search begins with a mixture of hope and despair, exoticism and contemplation, anger and reconciliation.

Director: Carlos E. Lesmes
Script: Carlos E. Lesmes, Liis Nimik
Cinematographer: Carlos E. Lesmes/Aivo Rannik/Giulia Ducci/Davood Mousavi
Editor: Hendrik Mägar
Sound designer: Gabriel Solis
Composer: Ann Reimann
Producer: Liis Nimik
Co-producers: Marcela Lizcano, Vice Versa Cine (COL) / Davood Mousavi, Little Black Fish (SWE), Mauricio Vergara, Carlos E. Lesmes

Participant at:
- Ex-Oriente Film 2018
- Cartagena Film Festival WIP 2018 (Best Project Award)
- Baltic Sea Docs 2018
- ChileDoc 2018
- East Doc Platform 2019
- BAM 2019 (Best Project Award)
- Seattle International Film Festival Works in Progress 2019

- Hot Docs Canadian International Film Festival 2020, World Showcase program

- AUDIENCE AWARD Bogotá International Film Festival 2020
- COLLEAGUE AWARD Estonian Documentary Guild - Best Documentary of 2021
- NOMINATIONS Estonian Film Awards 2021:
Best Cinematography, Best Editing, Best Documentary
- BEST DOCUMENTARY, BEST EDITING Estonian Film Awards 2021 
- JURY PRIZE & AUDIENCE AWARD Panorama du Cinéma Colombien, Paris
- JURY PRIZE Festival International Signes de Nuit, Argentina
- FEISAL(Federation of Latin American Schools of Image and Sound) Jury Prize at Habana Film Festival, Cuba
- MAIN PRIZE Festival International Signes de Nuit, Lisbon
- FILM OF THE YEAR AWARD by Estonian Guild of Film Journalists
- AWARD OF THE YEAR by Estonian Cultural Endowment for Liis Nimik and Carlos E. Lesmes
- BEST FEATURE DOCUMENTARY AWARD Doc.Sidney Film Festival 2022, Australia

- World Premiere: Hot Docs Canadian International Film Festival 2020
- Latin-American Premiere: DocsMX 2020, Mexico 
- Colombian premiere: Bogotá International Film Festival 2020, Colombia
- East Silver Market, Best film nomination 2020, Czech Republic
- ArtDocFest Riga 2021 Spring, Latvia
- Festival De Cine de la Habana - 2021 Spring, Cuba
- Estonian Premiere: DocPoint Tallinn 2021
- One World Human Rights Film Festival 2021, Czech Republic
PANORAMA DU CINÉMA COLOMBIEN 2021, In Competition, Paris
- Baltic Sea Docs 2021
- Almaty Indie Film Fest 2021, Kazakhstan
- Festival international Signes de Nuit 2021, Argentina
- Golden Jury International Film Festival 2021, Mumbai
- Festival International Signes de Nuit 2021, Lisboa
- Doc.Sidney Film Festival 2022, Australia


Review: A Loss of Something Ever Felt - Cineuropa
Review: A Loss of Something Ever Felt (2020) - Ubiquarian

EXCLUSIVE: Trailer and poster for Hot Docs title A Loss of Something Ever Felt - Cineuropa
Review: Un estonio perdido en Bogotá y un documental que sigue su búsqueda - RTVC, Colombia
Interview: Entrevista con Carlos Lesmes sobre su participación en el BIFF
Media: Eesti dokumentaalfilm võitis Kolumbias südameid
InterviewColombia koomiksifännist hinnatud Eesti filmitegijaks
Media: Dokumentalistide kolleegipreemia pälvis Carlos E. Lesmes 
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Kagge filmist "Üht kaotust igavesti kandsin": tekkis tunne, et mida ma ise sellises olukorras teeksin
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Kolumbias narkomaanist venda otsinud naine: ma ei suutnud neid kodutuid enam vaadataFilmisaade: seda Eesti dokki te peate nägema!